You don’t want your mother anymore to protect you .The same with your father , family , or whoever lays out a protecting “shield” to save you from troubles .

Yes even if you are not an adult and you are a kid so your surroundings and society , aren’t too hard on you .You are too hard with YOU , and this is what matters .You must find solutions for your school problems .

You must find solutions , for the fear you feel , every time you failed in lessons , sports ,friendships , tough teachers ,tough neighborhood , tough parents maybe , absence of parents , few money in your pockets to survive .

Yes no matter how young you are , how good you think you are , how sensitive you are .You don’t care for the underestimate eyesights , the others have on you sometimes , thing which makes you hurt sometimes . But not any more .

You don’t care for good clothes , which you cannot afford to buy and many times you catch yourself wondering around the shops , daydreaming .You don’t care , if you afford to buy clothes and the most importand , shoes only in the discount periods .

And you only GOD knows , how much you like a good pair of good athletic shoes , for your running training . But you don’t care .

You don’t care if you aren’t eating well , as your daily exhausting training needs .You try to eat as good your money allows you to do .

Sometimes days are passing without something decent , fills your empty belly , but you don’t care .After the first couple of days , you don’t care much , you get used to that situations .

Many times you smile saying to yourself , that food is ” overrated ” , no big deal . You don’t care if your exhausted body complain sometimes , when you come late at nights and you fell asleep starving .

You don’t care if , noone or few have stayed around you , keeping you company during your hard path .You don’t care if , those who have said they would be always there for you didn’t keep their promise .

Deep inside you , you understand them and of course you don’t blaim them . You don’t care for the deepest fear , your continuous failures torture you , whispering in your ears that :

YOU WON’T MAKE IT . YOU’LL LOSE EVENTUALLY .

You know that failures “leads” you , showing to you the wrong way !!!!!! You don’t care for your lost moments you’ve lost in life , being so focus in your “job” .

You don’t care for the “damage” , your way of life does to your body and soul , changing your personality for good . Most of times , making you a better human silently .

You don’t care if your “previous” self the soft one , “commands” you to stop hurting yourself trying to
achieve “things” , you cannot achieve .

You don’t care how many are saying to you , that you will fail no matter how hard you try .You don’t care about the endless knights , you cannot sleep because you are in pain .

Internal pain .

You don’t care if some nights you stay awake on purpose , because you fear that of if you sleep , you won’t GET UP in the morning . You don’t care if these nights have become “habit” .

You don’t care if sometimes , it is very difficult to survive one more day and you pray , for someone to relief you from this torture , because you are tired .

You are SO TIRED .

But you know that if , you manage to make it for another minute , another hour , another day …. if you manage to make it for another “round” , NO MATTER HOW MUCH PAIN YOU FEEL , you won’t be a looser anymore .

You won’t feel a loser anymore . And this is somehitng you don’t negotiate with all the wealth of the world .This emotion belongs to you , and NOONE CAN TAKE IT AWAY .

You don’t care if you haven’t a boyfriend/girlfriend , because your way of life is so demanding the time period you try to succeed .You are alone , but you don’t feel lonely .

You don’t care if luxury and conveniences are unknown words to you. You know , that this hardens you , makes you stronger .You don’t care if success doesn’t seem to get close to you , even if you try so many months , so many years .

You do what you must do , day in , day out and you don’t let the absence of results , bend you .You must cross the “finish line” first , that is what matters . You react with the same mentality , infront of small victories .

You don’t care if sometimes even you , make unfavorable thoughts about the “end of the road” , and inside , you feel so UNCERTAIN .This is a trick of your self , your “past” self who wants to “trip you up” . You smile a little , and try to clear your head so you can sleep .

You don’t care about the climate circumstances , you perform the same , anywhere , anytime .You don’t care to feel anything this time .You can control your emotions in full scale .

Sometimes this fact scares you , but you realise that , you MUST this way .You are not a human anymore” . You must “die” and then WIN !!!