She turned her back to me , but i saw her mixing my milk with water , trying to load my glass .

I don’t know if she saw me , but i saw her , and without even realise it , i totally spontaneous duck my head down making a huge , but fake yawn and then i tried to tied up my lace shoes !!!

I felt that , if i had shown show to my MOTHER , that i saw her mixing my milk with water , i would make her feel very uncomfortable and sad .

So with “flash” (!) speed , but not so much speed and unveil my fakeness , i made this little theatrical moves , praying to persuade her . But i definetly saw her . I’m a kid , i’m not blind .

All this made me very skeptical , but i whisper to myself : “think of it , later the day” and come up with some explanation . But my continuous kid games and stuff , didn’t let me and i forgot it .

But my “hard-disc” , printed it inside me , without even know it . You know i was kind of a fat(!) kid and many times , my extra weight made me the center of the teasing from my close ( and not only ) environment .

I was hearing comments from my parents , sometimes funny and good intensioned ones in which sometimes , even if i laughed with them , but other times they hurted me much .

I forced myself to find the strength , to respond with a “decent” smile ,but deep down i cried inside me . And these kind of cruing , you don’t forget it , till the end of your life .

No matter how high you “climb” in society , or how much money you’ll make ,or how much success you’ll achieve .

I was hearing comments from my “kido” buddies , which were much , much worst than my parents did , because kids world is very “tough” and when the kids talk , they tell the truth ,or what exactly they feel , without politeness or “politeness” .

They “hit” you , straight ahead with 100% honesty and if you like it , you like it . If not , they “don’t care” . They are just kids . So you can imagine my childhood years , exept the enormous happiness and joy i had , i had some “heavy-metal” moments , also !!!!

I was hearing comments in the school , from more kids i had friends till then , and as you can imagine my days back then was “very interesting and never boring” .

I was hearing comments even from my school teachers , who were trying not to be very “brutal” , but they didn’t managed it countless times . My gymnastic hours were a “Middle Age” torture .

I remember , discovering every possible illness and excuse , to avoid my daily humiliation ,but after a while , noone believed me . But to tell you a little secret , after some time , in which i must admit i was feeling very bad , for all this bulling i recieved from all directions , i didn’t care anymore .

I realised that , that’s the way GOD made me , as HE makes the talls ,the sorts , the fat , the skinny ,the bright , the not so bright , the very beautiful , the not so beautiful , the extreme talented , the ones with less talent ( even if ALL human beings , have ONE talent , the other doesn’t have ) , so it’s ok .

I will try to improve my external physic of course , but all these ugly comments , after a while , didn’t affect me an inch .

After so much “experience” , i had as a child as a fat child , i could sense in a “nanosecond” , the uncomfort someone feels , if someone makes for him a “cruel” comment .

And the most “sectretly” importand thing is that : i can sense ,the exact emotion you feel if a person “hit” with his rude “missiles” , the CORE of your existance .

And believe me the worst comment is the one which is been told behind your back , and “targets” , some physical defect you have . That exact time , you feel the earth , “leaving your feet” , and your soul’s resistance , is tested in its limits !!!!!

This time , if you don’t be careful , you failed to control your emotions COMPLETELY and you don’t self-sarcasm yourself , you may “BRAKE“ for good . And NEVER COME BACK .

Counntless examples exist , from “broken” personalities and collosal phycological problems . So , put in your life the self-sarcasm “weapon” and move forward .

And the most important ? When you overcome this SO HARD EMOTIONAL and MENTAL situation , you would feel as you have won a “battle” . And you would have done it , without even realise that !!!!!!!

You WON , your hurted ego and you were alive !!! Hold that knowledge , you’ll need it in the future ,while you’ll fight to fulfill your personal dreams !!!!!!

The years were passing , i was a teenager now and i had catch a summer job , just before i entered my college to earn some money fom my first couple of months , or so . This job wasn’t something stable and ‘serious” for me ,but it could serve my purpose .

I worked in the local Pizza shop , as a helper , to an old and experienced employee . The hot was so exhausting , but i was doing well .

The older employee i was helping , was a Lady who her job was , the supplies and the warehouse of the Pizza shop , so we would never have problems , and lack of something in the kitchen . She was very polite , had 3 children and she was working very hard , every single day .

The owner of the Pizza shop , was a tough professional “guy’ and countless times , his “voices” were heard across the street . I didn’t like that at all , but who was i to speak anything .

A day , which a serious mistake was made and the boss heard some complaints from some clients , the “Kraken was Unleashed” . I’ve never seen a human being having so many “colors” in his face , and to tell you the truth , i found it a little funny .

But my mood for fun , has left me immediatelly and replaced with the BIGGEST SADNESS & COMPASSION i’ve felt in my life , for a person .

“My” warehouse Lady , has heard so many bad and insulting things , having her head facing the ground and i felt tears trying to escape my eyes .

I haven’t seen till then how a DEEPLY HURTED DIGNITY , looks like and the shock was beyond my powers . I remember , i found an excuse ,to go away from the scene ,because i could SENSE THE PAIN of my “gold-hearted” Lady and i couldn’t take it .

That day was the worst day of my whole life . That day i realised how tough the world is and the pain it “hides” , FOR ANYONE .

If i remember i took the next day off , finding an excuse and form this moment , i planned my way out of this damn pizza shop . I planned my ESCAPE ……

Oh , how i wish i had the money and power to take with me that Lady , and “save her from that hell” .But nothing of that happened , exept my resignation of that “hole” . The next autumn , i went to my college and i’ve never saw “my” Lady again , in my life .

But i had remembered and prayed for her coutless times . Who knows , maybe SOMEONE was hearing my prayers and made her life easier .

Thank GOD if that happened !!!!!!

But that lesson about wounded dignities and the eyesight of “my” Lady , would be a lesson which keeps me “company” , till nowdays . And the lessons i would have taken , about emotions and psychology didn’t stop at all .

During my college lessons , and the exams i have given were so many , but that afternoon lesson in the laboratory , it was something which “carved” very deep inside me .

Again .

A fellow of mine , had some difficulties with some experiments , which weren’t so difficult , but for some reason , he couldn’t finish them . The rest of the class has accompliced it , but my friend couldn’t .

The professor of the class who wasn’t the “humblest” guy on earth , ctitisized him so bad , questioning his ability and intelligent as a person . Not as a college student , but as a person .

He said to him very underestimated words and in the class , noone defended my friend . We just listened , the professor “crossing the line” and “advertise” his “superior” intelligence , as a professor .

Again a human’s deepest core of existance , was getting “hits” and noone stood for him . You know you “die” inside you , if someone tells you that you are stupid , or lower intelligence and if this guy , is a teacher of yours , the “disaster” is way bigger .

I will never forget myself for my cowerdice , that afternoon . I felt so deep my friend’s bad emotional situation , because i have felt such way , so many times and i didn’t do anything .

But that was the last time , i was showing cowerdice in my life .

All those emotional lessons i’ve taken in my life , made my empathy to others situations , extremely huge and my ability to recognise my own emotions , through different situations …… sharper and sharper .

And the result to all of these , was that my internal strength was becoming bigger and bigger , subconsciously .

All these emotional experiences i’ve gained , i transformed them to motivation and positive mentality , so i can achieve my goals .

And the most importand for me to become a better person , through all this proceess of achieving goals in life .

For my morality rules , and personality , your abilities and power you have in life , you must use them to do good and give something back when you finally achieve your goals .
Power without morality and control , is a very “dangerous” thing .

Having high Emotional Intelligence , is great power in you hands and how you’ll use it , it’s avery serious theme .

Emotional intelligence is the ability any person has , or you can develop in the future , to recognize and control your personal emotions , combined with other human’s emotions .

All human beings have emotional intelligence in a lower or a higher grade and it isn’t something that only “elite” personalities have . This brain and soul ability , has given to anyone alive from the “manufacturer” , and through his life experiences and “lessons” , it can be evolute to a higher level .

When your ability to recognise and expain your feelings to yourself(!) , is getting better and better during time , this matureness process will give you the ability to understand ,how those emotions of yours , affect the life of others .

The benefit of all this inner “zymosis” , will be the highest adjustment of your feelings ,and the control of the emotions of the other people , on your environment .

So your mentality will become clearer , about the direction of your life , the progress you make following this drection , and make “corrections” , if needed .

Your evolution as a person , no matter if you are an experienced multi – times World Champion ,or an amateur beginner , is something , which NEVER STOPS .

No matter if you are a doctor , or a businessman , an arcitect , a musician( you need a “well trained” EQ , because you reach human souls ) ,a politician , a football player , a priest , a famous Hollywood star , or whoever else , controling your emotions and have strong and “solid” awareness of youself , will help you in your goals .

Of course your ethics should follow some “unwritten laws” , because you MUST AVOID playing with other people’s emotions , in order to win some “battles” . It’s another thing to become a successful person and another , being an immoral successful person .

1) What are the 5 features of Emotional Intelligence ?

a) The first is your self-awareness .

The first sign of a highly self-awareness is , how good you know yourself . I know that this may sounds
childish or very easy , but knowing yourself in a high grade is a very difficult thing .

Having the ability to identify in the highest level you can , of your emotions , your weaknesses , your soul and brain powers , your heart powers , your personal limits on your actions concerning your
ethics , your mentality “weak spots” , will enormously help you , creating constructive relationships with other people .

If you know the direction you want to go ,having an organised plan in your mind , it’s always a factor of success and the most important :

If something go wrong and you don’t succeed to accomplish your goals in the level you want ,if you are a well organised person , you can always look back in the process and find the section which caused you the mistake . And fix it for the next try ……

Of course there are mental training techniques you can try , in order to learn how to maximise your self – awareness :

Make a “step back” and observe your reactions and emotions you have , when a tough situation interrupts your calmness .

You get angry ? Furious ? You yell at people ?

You say “heavy” words for which you aren’t very proud of(!) ?

You throw stuff around the room ? During this “mind – storm” of yours , you feel that you aren’t yourself , but someone else ?

Those times , your brain “works” , or it gets “frozen” only focused in your rage ?

How the other people react in these temper “explosions of yours ? You frighten them ?

You make them the same angry as you are , but because you are the boss
noone says anything ?

How these reactions of yours , affect their performance ?

They abandon you at the first opportunity they can ?

After these moments and when “things” , return to calmness , you feel bad for yourself ?

You feel guilts ?

You apologise easy , or you are very proud to apologise ?

All these daily emotions you experience , and many more you should write them down to a notebook , or something and when you find a correct time , you must sit down with yourself(!) and make an HONEST talk with him and everything will impove for sure .

b) The second feature is Self – Adjustment .

Self – Adjustment of yourself will be the results of all the inner work you’ve done , and now you are ready to collect the benefits .

No yelling now and disorganization moves , which are signs of a confused mindset and approach . Steady and cool efficiency actions in all the day hours and in all the conditions you may find infront of you and till now , they made you “mad” .

“Cold – blooded” experienced decisions and actions according each case separately , will take the place of all the mistakes of the past , and respect and trust , from your surroundings will come back to you in a glimpse .

Taking on you the blaiming of your mistakes , and not accuse anyone else is very crucial and it’s a sign of high self-respect and this makes everyone , more relaxed , because now they can trust you .

And when the team trust you , it is easier for you to pass to them , your messages and willingness .So you must be open-minded to any upcoming problem you will face through the day and adapt immediatelly ,without wasting precious time .

Remain calm while you face a new challenge , fast analysis of all the specs , fast decision for a solution , fast creation of a solution , fast giving the solution with minimum “damage” and slow(!) analysis of the results of the solution you gave .

Fast , calm , effective , wise , “cold-blooded” movements , “playing by the rules” is the name of the “game” , and play it as better as you can .

Having a good physical situation , will help you to be calm and retain your calmness and self-control , because your body hormones won’t be affected , by the stress and anxiety of your daily effords , to conquer your emotions and the world !!!!!

c) Feature , number 3 : Empathy

Empathy is the ability someone has to “simulate” inside him and understand in a very highly grade ,the feelings of the other people in his/her environment . This ability is very crucial and always helps with your relationships in all stages .

Being able to “get to the shoes of the other“ ,gives you the benefit to understand the other actions and behavior , don’t judge him very hard , and giving to him the help he needs the specific time and moment .

Automatically this action of yours ,creates a very positive feedback from the other person’s side and you show to all , that you honesty care and don’t just ACT THAT YOU CARE in the eyes of your friends , family , job , sport , whatever .

Imagine being a sports coach and all the members of your team , have the minimum respect for you , because they suspect , that you don’t care for them and the progress of the team , but only for your “fat” contract and your status . You have lost the “game” , before you even started it .

Imagine that you are the ahtletes you are going to coach , try to listen to them and what they want to say with freedom , without interrupting them to make corrections .

Observe their body language and reactions while they speak to you and try your body language and voice , be friendly , calm , open-hearted and honest , and focus how all these affect your athlete’s emotions .

You’ll realise that being as much “human” as you can , can do “magic” to people and the trust , they will give you generously . All these needs time to “built” , but when they do so , they remain for a long time , maybe forever .

Trust and consideration between humans , are the “bricks” for long lasting relationships . And don’t you ever forget :

All people are difefrent between them , but the values they believe , are timeless and these values are the columns of our human civilization . Trust those values …….

d) Feature , number 4 : Self – Motivation .

One of the best and all time classic value in life , and especially in the life of a person who wants to achieve something in his life and “trains” his emotional intelligence to the best he can , is this :

You must Motivate yourself and don’t let your enthusiasm to decrease even a tiny “inch” , even if you have failed so many times in life .

You must , evolute ,and have the ability to go from failure to failure ,with the SAME AMMOUNT OF ENTHUSIASM !!!

No matter how many times you have experienced total failure , you must keep going with the exact same freshness , as if you have started today .

How is this possible ? You should be very focused in the reasons of your tries and not in the benefits you’ll gain , when you succeed .

You should fight for values and ideas and not for material benefits .

Remember who you are , why you started this “journey” , remain optimistic , adjust your goals to the difficulties you’ll find , reset your goals if they need to erase past mistakes which didn’t work , set new training techniques and try to educate yourself to the new era’s methods .

e) Effective Social Skills .

All the above skills you’ll gain from your inner exploration and self awareness will make your social skills better than ever .

Getting to know and understand the emotions of the other people will make you a better person , wiser and more effective in your goals you’ve set .

Simulating ‘scenarios” in your mind and try to see life from the eyes of the others , will rise your matureness in other levels and your cooperation with them won’t be a tough “job” anymore , pushing you to fake behaviors and stiff smiles .

Now you won’t have to talk hours and hours saying “nothing” and be energy drained .

Now a few words and some body language “decoding” , will be enough to get to the point of the situation and give the correct solution , in the shortest period of time and the most importand , maybe:

without anyone get upset and without anyone feel manipulated . Friendships , long lasting relationships , trust , loyalty , and fullfiness from all , will follow this approach of yours .

And the “job” will be accomplished . So simple !!!!!! Of course all these unique skiils you’ll gain , they’ll give you power above the other humans .

So if these skills , are combined with high morality , willingness to “serve” the goodness in life , total avoidance of mind games ( because people aren’t toys) .

They have feelings and feelings gets hurt .

Following the all time classic values of humanity’s history and respect to all people no matter their bank accounts you’ll catch yourself , been proud for yourself , even if pride is a “deadly sin ” .