At the beginning , i feared the guy with the white blouse who put me out of my warm , wet and dark place i was and bring me in a place so unknown .

I suppose that , the white – blouse guy didn’t like me a lot that’s why he hit me in my back(!) immediately and i started to scream so loud .

Then , i feared the two humans who took me from the big white house , the planet(!) of the white – blouse humans and took me to a smaller house . A warmer one , but unknown this to .

And i still feared this situation . These two humans are so big and i am so small . Will i survive ? I fear so much .

Will i have food , water , warmth , roof for the tough winter and hot summer , other kids to play with , education , acceptance and maybe a little love from these two people in front of me , who are making funny grimaces ?

And will i have all the above , now that my skin color is black , a little yellow or whatever than the others , my ears are wider than the others . My nose is more curved than the others .

My teeth are not perfect . My body is far away worst with kinetic problems maybe than the others .

I may have serious dyslexic problems than the others , i’m not an” Einstein” in my school lessons or Michael Jordan in sports . I’m not handsome as George Clooney or beautifull as Jlo .

I won’t manage to make billions as Bill Gates , or won’t manage to become a sex hollywood symbol , or , or , or , ?

If , I’ll FAIL IN ALL KNOWN AREAS IN MY LIFE , WILL MY FAMILY LOVE ME ?

WILL PEOPLE LOVE ME ?

JESUS , how i fear these possibilities . And i’m only a tiny baby , just starting my life .The years were passing , i was getting bigger very fast , but i was still feared many things .

Many more than the things i was feared when i was a baby .What a strange thing . The oldest i became , the more afraid i was .

Later in school , i feared the possibility of so many different kids around me wanted to become a part of my life for a couple of hours every day .

How should i treat them , when we are playing and when we were just talking ? They like me , or they thing i am strange ? I didn’t want to be strange . And i feared !!!!!

In some cases i hadn’t studied very well , so i can rise my arm to tell the answer fast ….. and some times i rise my arm first of all answering the hardest question with easiness .

I feared in both circumstances . Mostly in the second one !!!! . I didn’t want to be a “nerd” and the others thought that i boost myself .

But inside me i liked the fact that i win em all . Here i am in my teenage years and my fears can fill the titanic easily . After so many years living with them , my school and education fears have become my second nature .

They have become a habit . Sometimes usefull , sometimes annoying . But these teenage years , i have bigger problems , major fears . I attract and attracted by the opposite sex and my world will never be the same again .

What kind of eyesight should i use to attract his/hers attention ? I fear . What body language movs should i use for the same “job” ? I fear . What clothes should i wear ?I fear .

What type of haircut ? What if i’m not being accepted ? If she/he would laugh with me and my inexperience ? I will ” die ” from shame . Of course i fear !!!!! .

Should i copy some other guy/girl with experience , or do things my original way ?

Should i copy the holywood actors ? I fear .

What should i do the first knight alone with my partner ? I’ve never kissed in the lips anyone . You suck ? , you blow ? you chew the lips ?

I can’t feel my feet under my knees , from pure fear . How making love happens ? Are there any instructions out there in the planet passing from generation to generation , which i need to know ?

I FEAR !!!!!! .

What is condom ? What is pregnancy ? My physical ” tools” , are ok for the “job” ? What is AIDS ?( this is the real fear ) .

But somehow i manage to overcome all this situations , sometimes with total success , sometimes with total failures .

But magically new and ” improved ” fears have just arrived in my mind !!!! .Will i enter the college – university i want , because i’m poor and my chances are lower than other people ?

If i don’t , my family , my close environment will laugh at me ? I will be a loser for them ?

This fear is different than the others . It is SO DEEP , it hurts my soul . Will i finish college with good grades and claim a PhD ? Will i succed with my PhD ? I fear .

Will my absence from the army – time cost me a nice job ? Will my army – time passes with easiness or difficulty ? Will my current love handle the army – time and waits for me ? I fear .

After the army how much of my previous life would have been untouched ? How many ” friends ” and ” loves ” have i lost ?Maybe this fear will mature a little bit .

After my college years and my Phd , will i find a good job in this male – dominated society ?

You know I am a woman and i hear stories about the ” consessions ” , women ” should ” do if they want to have a nice maybe carrer . This fear SCARES(!) me so much . After my job and career issues , new fears are rising in my horizon .

In which place should i focus , to find my lifes lasting love ? Should i search for a person between my jobs environment , or elsewhere ? Will he/she be the perfect and “chosen ” one ?

Will he/she love me forever ?

Even if i’ll take much weight from the birth of my children , have cellulite , or when i’ll loose my six -pack from the tons of beer i will have drunk with my buddies watching my favorite sport – team ?

JESUS , this is what i call fear !!!!!! .

On the other hand i am 35 -40 years old and i haven’t get married yet . I gave all my energy to my job – career improvement and didn’t gave much attention , in this part of my life . If i am a guy , maybe it’s ok i will have some time margin .

But if i am a woman , i must accelerate my steps so i can become a mother .
Oh , my GOD i fear so deep and much . But , what is going on ? This fear stuff never ends ?Will i become a good mother / father ?

Will my children be the prettiest , smarter , gifted and good , than any other kid in the world ? Will they have health and good evolution in their lifes ?

Will i have the resourses to support them ? Will i find the best way to teach them about the secrets and ways the society operates ?

Will i manage to protect them from bicycle hits , general childhood hits , illness , drugs , bad habits , wrong schools , ” bad ” fellowships , road accidents , earthquakes ,lightning strikes , shark attacks .

Now i fear more than i feared for my self .

I am 70 – 80 whatever , years old now and exept my usual fears , and problems by fears , i have other , different types of problems and fears of course .

Back issues , high cholesterol , high blood pressure , heart problems , kee problems , eye problems , arthritic problems and the list is endless .

But i have another major issue , that blocks my mind . What are the plans GOD has for me ? When i will die ?

Soon , sooner , later , after i’ve seen grandchildren , when ?
I need to know . And i fear as i never feared before .And one question is spining in my old brain .

HAVE I DONE IT ALL CORRECTLY IN MY LIFE ?

I don’t have any answer for this question . I think noone has .

But i don’t fear anymore , it’s useless in this age . I only want my lovely granny wife beside me till the end of the ” journey ” . And “GO” IN PEACE . Many of the existing fears , are only creations of human beings .
Of human societies across time .

Many of them are only MIND ILLUSIONS. If you have faith , your health and the will to act , illusions vanish . All the Winner attitude humans , in all areas knows that mind “tricks” …