I don’t like to LOSE !!!! . I don’t like the fealings of losing , in any way .

I don’t like the emotion , of giving the best can give and at the end i’m the second one . Because in my deep personal belief , secondis the FIRST OF THE LOSERS !!!!! . Strange and maybe an extreme mentality ? Maybe , but this is my mentality .

Forged with tons of pain , tons of misery nights home alone thinking , tons of nights wondering why these bad things is happening to me .

Tons of nights praying to my GOD tons of nights wondering why GOD doesn’t answers to my prayers . Tons of sleepless nights trying to sleep and failing even in that (!) .

Tons of days trying to handle the un-human stress i felt making walks in nature , praying that the trees and the rivers could help my “stormy” soul .

Tons of moments trying to find someone who can understand the torture i pass through tons of moments facing the brutality in the highest level of our modern society which can demolish you , in a glimpse of an eye , if you let it .

Tons of weeks living as a loser deep inside me and seeing this , in everybody’s eyes when they speak to you and typically smiles , trying to be polite .

JESUS how many moments i’ve passed feelings as a garbage , as someone who cannot achive something without any external help .

Without the “golden” help of my surroundings who ” always knows better ” , or the help of the cold-blooded society , if you obey its rules totally and shut your mouth !! . Because you’re only a number, nothing else !!!!!!! .

In my humble opinion , these times a human passes ,are the most difficult in his life , exept a serious health problem ,or war of course . Because these times , your faith as a soul is at stake !!!! .

These so personal moments , unveil in the surface your personality characteristics , with no cover up with no excuses . These unique moments , the abilities your CREATOR has given to you the time of your birth , unveil in the surface , as “weapons” .

The use of these “weapons” , is up to you . I suppose you’ve heard these personal “weapons” , with so many words . Countless people, writers , poets , musicians , politicians , athletes , they spoke about these “weapons” , trying to persuade you for their significance .

But if you haven’t heard the “wolves coming” , desiring your “flesh” , you cannot understand , the meaning of those “weapons” , in real life !! And real life is hard my friends , and i’mnot a philosopher !!!!! . I’m just a common human , who doesn’t want to lose , no matter what the cost maybe .

I “m not a very bright human , i suppose as the philosher guys or the poets , or the world writers , but i only know this : I don’t like to lose . So i must find ways to WIN , in the area i like , in the area which i believe i’m good at it .

In the area , which my dreams exist !!

I must find ways to use every “soul tool” i have ,every “weapon” my human exist has and i must take the 110% , from them with no excuses , with minimum mistakes .

I must find the way , to be the last who will stand on his feet , as a winner no matter how difficult the ” war zone” i will fight is .

I also must find the way , not to lose myself during this process and pass the “riverside” without loosing my soul , my kindness ,my humor , my primitive and original self .

This is a bet , very crucial for me because , if i win and at the end of the “road” , i’d be someone else worse of what i was at the beggining of my journey to victory , in substance i’d be the biggest loser .

Nothing material in this earth , is worth your soul and your mental health . I know that outhere , human world champions exist who are willing to teach me “things” , from their huge experience without anticipating anything from me .

They have the kindness and selflessness to help me , to show me roads and technics which worked for them – and i thank them so much – but , the final “job” must be made by me , and only me . I must not do the mistakes of the past !!!!!!!!

It’s a big mistake avoiding your responsibilities , regardless your age ( ok when you’re a tiny “kido” , don’t be so hard with you , you’ll learn from your “newbie” mistakes ) .

Don’t load your responsibilities to other shoulders , which i suppose(!) will let you down : family , surroundings , friends , bad society .

The “system” , the “bad” and sneaky humans who “always betray you” . The lack of money which , “always make you postpone your plans” .

The “bad” goverment agencies which “always brake your plans and evolution” , and wants you to fail , because they are “vengeful” and “vicious” , so it’s “excusable” to FAIL .

It’s “excusable” to quit youe effords because , it ” isn’t in your powers to do something ” !!!!! You must admit , how nice this sounds to your ears and especially in your close surrounding ears : I can’t do anything . Its’ beyond of my powers , of any human powers .

So DON’T BLAME ME !!! , i”m CLEAN !!!!!!! When you feel your first stress ,at your first attemps to win you’re brain and mentality maybe will block out and be uncapable to give solutions .

Remember , this is a brand new state of situation for you and it’s very human , to lose control , a little bit . Don’t be afraid . Make a step behind , try to see the “big” picture and the new parameters .

Let your instict guide you at first ( it’s a survival primitive ability , we all have ) , and then when the “danger” passes , start working with your mind .

Try to unlock the problem , with “cold – blooded ” phychology and clearness in your brain ( that’s why an elite physical state is needed – the body helps the mind ) , and the solution unlocking the details , will come . Unsolved problems , don’t exist(except some in health area , unfortunately) .

After this process , you’ll become to see “light at the end of the tunel” and the first thing you’ll feel is over – excitement !! Next your self – confidence will go sky-high !!!!

Its’ a very natural and human reaction .
You’ve passed , from total “darkness” , into a little bit light . But hear me out , this is a very significant moment .

Your reaction in this specific moment , will define everything !!!! . Yes you may consider that i’m overreacting saying you this , but i’ve seen people winning or losing doing a very big mistake , conserning this tiny detail .

After a very stressful personal period , trying to achieve something , trying to become the best of all , you manage to get a tiny victory in the “battle field”.

A tiny “light in the tunel”which you’ll make you very happy so you let yourself to believe , that you’ve won the “war” , that the job is done .

You let yourself to relax and reduse your focus under the 100% , more than a day and a knight ( in which you’ll drink a couple of drinks more than usual , it’s OK ) it’s very possible ,to totaly lose the entire war !!!

It’s a very important element , during your “journey” to achieve your goals , not ot let your brain to relax 100% , before you completely achieve what you want to achieve . NEVER BEFORE !!!!!!

I can imagine that this approach of mine , is maybe extreme and seems unnecessary ( many will say that it isn’t so bad to relax a little ) , but i know that , when i was fighting for something which meant everything to me , i couldn’t sleep at nights , as i normally sleep .

No matter how much time i needed to do the “job” .

Deep inside me i knew that , a couple of days during the time of my effords , So after this situation period , you would be more tough as a person , you’d have gone into terratories you’ve never gone before . So what this hole “thing” , will benefit you ?

** To withstand , the countless defeats you’ll taste , till you become your dreams CHAMPION .